Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Melt My Heart

Occasionally Nathan will have a night when he just can't seem to "wind-down" and go to sleep. If the process of going-to-bed gets to be too long, I will go in his room and lay on the floor by his crib, and hold his hand through the bars. It seems to calm him down, and he's usually asleep within a few minutes. My dad used to hold my hand during the night if I ever had a bad dream. I would make him come in my room and hold his hand up so I could reach it until I would fall asleep. He always jokes about how miserable this made him, but I know he loved it!(thanks, Dad!) Well, I figure that's probably why I do the same thing with Nathan. I guess I just hope that it's as comforting for him as it was for me. As it turns out, it must mean more to him than I thought... the other night he woke up because he wet through his diaper. I changed him, put on clean jammies, and tried to put him back down, but he started crying. I put a pillow on the floor and told him that I'd lay down by him, but he wasn't any happier, so I took him in the spare room to let him sleep with me. I had my hand on top of my pillow up by my face, and suddenly I felt a little hand. Nathan placed his hand inside mine, and curled up close to me. My heart simply melted. It was such a tender little moment for me. I wanted to freeze time and never leave. I figured that after a few minutes he would either fall asleep or get tired of holding my hand, but as I lay there awake just watching him, he would roll over to get comfortable, and then if necessary, switch hands, so he could continue to hold mine. I was a puddle of goo. I had to write about it, so that when I have moments that aren't quite "melting moments", I can look back and appreciate this one. I am so happy to be a mom. Just when I think that it can't get any better, it does. Just when I think Nathan couldn't be any more fun, he is. And just when I think I can't possibly love him any more, I do. How did I ever deserve this incredible little spirit that loves me unconditionally? He is truly my little miracle. I'm in love...with my sweet, precious, beautiful little boy.

4 comments:

Holly said...

THat is the best! What a sweet little guy! I hope my little Braxton is a mama's boy! :)

Deanna said...

OH, Amanda! Thank you for that sweet story. Tanner will do the same. I am just bawling here, at 1:15 in the morning, becasue it was such a disaster of bedtime tonight. I love moments like this. Lately when I hold Tanner's hand at night (when he just can't get to sleep, I'll lay by him, but in his bed - more comfy, but a bad habit) We'll hold hands, and he'll take his free hand and move my thumb, to rub his little hand. If I stop gently rubbing his hand, he'll 'remind me' by moving it for me. Thanks for keeping me in check, and reminding me that even though there are tough and frustrating moments, they don't out-weigh these times that our hearts melt. :)

Stewart Family said...

How sweet. It's nice to have those precious moments to get you through the crazy ones. Your blog is way cute. I love the background. I will try to make appointments for next week. See you on Sunday.

Gina Taylor said...

You will never forget those tender memories of your little guy. Even their almost nine years old and way too independent.