Before Nathan was a part of our lives, I would enviously watch children cling to their mothers. I wondered what it would feel like to be completely wanted and loved by something so sweet and precious. I was talking with a friend one day (once again, before Nathan), and she told me how good it felt when her kids wanted nobody else but her. She said it was the most satisfying and happy feeling she'd ever had. Derik and I wanted that for six years.
Then one day, a beautiful young lady named Mandi entered our lives, and made our world complete. Her one beautiful moment of selflessness made me a Mommy.
An eternal Mommy.
Made us an eternal family.
And in my opinion, forever couldn't possibly be long enough.
This morning I went with a friend to the temple before work, and consequently, didn't get to say good-bye to Nathan before he woke up. Derik called me at work, on his way to take Nathan to daycare. Nathan was in fits. He was whining, and groaning. He sounded miserable. I could hardly hear Derik over the noise:
"What's wrong with Nate?"
"I have no idea. He didn't want to to leave today, and he's kind of freaking out. I think he wants to talk to you."
So he puts me on speakerphone and as soon as I started talking to Nate, he calmed down. He still sounded sad, but he wasn't crying anymore. It melted my heart. I talked to Derik later, and he told me that Nate was just fine after I talked to him.
It made me feel good to know that he just wanted his Mom.
But I wouldn't be a mom if it weren't for Mandi.
She cannot possibly begin to understand what she means to our family.
What she means to me.
What she means to Nathan.
We talk to Nathan about her, and although I'm not sure any of it makes sense to him at this point in his life, he loves to look at pictures of her.
Confession:I love to look at them too.
I love adoption.
It made me a mommy.